Anthology Section
A Journey with No Tears
By Dan Seto
Vancouver, British Columbia

One of the pictures I remember as a child was a portrait of my mom and dad, Choy Sheung and Lim Seto. It was their wedding picture, taken in Hong Kong in 1954, the year of their marriage. It was displayed on a table in my parents' bedroom. Later my mom gave me a copy to put in my photo album.

Although my dad looked like a Chinese movie star in the picture, his face was expressionless. He was wearing a custom made suit from the Hudson Bay store. My mother had a smile and a look of optimism, wearing an American style outfit made in a Hong Kong tailor shop just before the wedding. The people at the tailor shop were not treating her well, because she had just come from rural China. So my dad said a few words of English to impress the staff and make them believe he was wealthy from living overseas, even though he had earned just enough money to get married.

The year before, my dad had worked as the head cook in a busy restaurant called the Grill Cafe in Kimberley, B.C. Kimberly was a mining town, and the workers came from the mine to eat at the restaurant. My dad earned $85 per week, which was three times what he got at any previous jobs as a cook. When I was growing up, he would always talk about the town of Kimberley nostalgically, because there he was able to earn enough money to go to Hong Kong to marry my mom.

One image I had never seen while growing up, either in pictures or in real life, was my father crying. He said he had shed enough tears for a lifetime, after the mother who had adopted him died when he was twelve years old. He had been kidnapped somewhere north and adopted by his mother in southern China when he was three years old. When my grandmother adopted my dad, she did so without consulting my grandfather, who was living in Canada.

My grandfather had immigrated to Canada in 1910, as a head tax immigrant. As far as I know, he had only gone back to China, on a few occasions to father children. Before my grandmother died from cancer, she might have written to my grandfather to ask him to sponsor my dad to Canada. After she died, my dad lived on the streets and with different relatives in China.

My grandfather sponsored my dad to come to Canada in 1949, perhaps more out of obligation than love. My dad arrived in Canada just before Christmas and settled in High River, Alberta. He recently recalled that he was washing dishes on Christmas Eve. He remembers being in tears because he couldn't understand why he was working when everyone else was celebrating Christmas in my grandfather's restaurant, the New Look Cafe.

When I was growing up, my dad always stopped me from crying. I often felt he thought my tears were not worth crying compared to what he went through. I also wondered if he did not celebrate my achievements because it made him feel inferior. He did not attend any of my school or social functions. For many years I had felt anger. But we never released our emotions in front of each other.

We moved to Vancouver in the early nineteen seventies. Like many Chinese immigrants who worked and lived on the Prairies, my parents dream was to move to "Salt Water City", which was what Vancouver was referred to in our Cantonese language. My dad opened a restaurant called Lim's Inn Restaurant on Fraser Street in East Vancouver. It was his pride and joy.

Over the years, I had heard from my mom and brothers that my dad had cried in front of them. Certainly during the up and down times of running his restaurant and on other occasions after selling the restaurant.

In June 2004, I organized a trip to Kimberley for my mom, dad and two of my brothers. My dad wanted to visit Kimberley for their 50th wedding anniversary. When we arrived in Kimberley, my dad didn't recognize any of the streets or where the Grill Cafe restaurant was located. At first we were told the restaurant had burned down. Then we were told by someone else that the sporting goods store was now located where the restaurant used to be. Finally, we found the restaurant. It had been partially burned down, then rebuilt and is now a German restaurant called the Gasthaus Restaurant.

I took pictures of my parents in front of the restaurant and also in front of the Kimberley sign with the giant cuckoo clock. After hearing my dad talk about Kimberley for so many years, I had finally felt it was part of my history.

I had the pictures developed a week after we got back from our trip to Kimberley. I had one of the pictures enlarged and bought a frame for it. I remember the moment I gave the picture to my dad. It was at the front foyer inside his house on Father's Day. He always had a hard time thanking me for anything. This time was no different. As he turned around and proceeded up the stairs, I followed. All of a sudden his knees grew weak, and I thought he was going to fall down. Then he started to cry. "I am very happy. First, your brother took me to China, and now you taking me to Kimberley," said my dad in our Hoiping dialect. I patted my dad on his shoulder. I wanted to cry, but I could not.

Background Information


I was involved in the first ever family history writing workshop sponsored by the Chinese Canadian Historical Society of B. C. in 2006. From this workshop, I began to write down some of the short stories that have shaped my life. I offer the unique perspective of growing up Asian Canadian in a small prairie town.

My story A Journey with No Tears focuses on the relationship between my father and myself. I wanted to talk about the good and the bad parts of our relationship. I wanted to give the reader an insight into our relationship, that of a man from China and his Canadian born son.

I was born in High River, Alberta and moved to Vancouver, B.C. as a teenager. Mother and father are from southern China. Native language: Cantonese: Hoiping dialect.

I graduated from Simon Fraser University, majoring in Business Administration. I am a member of the Chinese Canadian Historical Society of B. C. I am involved in promoting Chinese history through lectures, TV appearances and interviews.

My hobbies include ice hockey, dragon boat competition, public speaking and short story writing. I am currently working on a documentary about my grandfather, a Chinese head tax immigrant who came to Canada in 1910.