| The Falling Sky |
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By Reno Fu Scarborough, Ontario It was Aug. 19, 2004, a typical morning like any other day, sunny and hot, with a moderate breeze. I was on the way to the Chinese doctor’s office for acupuncture. Since my stroke the previous year, I had been hospitalized for nearly a year, totally paralyzed and with diminished speech. Just after I was released from the rehabilitation hospital, I was determined to seek other methods for recovery. While my wife was driving, her cell phone rang. Our eldest son, Teddy’s pediatrician was on the line. She was a bit surprised at his call since he didn’t know her number and it should have been his day off. My wife had taken Teddy to see him the previous night and he had arranged for some tests for him. He sounded very urgent, saying “I need to discuss something with you in person, where can I meet you”? My wife replied, “We are heading to the Chinese doctor’s office, near Centre Point Mall”. “OK”, he said, “I will meet you there in half an hour”? While we were waiting for him in the mall, we didn’t talk too much. Each had a bad feeling that something might be wrong. It was so unusual for him to see us this way. About a half hour later, he walked towards us with a folder under his arm. He said the lab had called him in the middle of the night to inform him of the result. All the blood tests indicated Leukemia. Before he came to us, he had already contacted SickKids and referred Teddy to them for immediate further testing. My mind was totally blank for a few seconds. “How could that be”? I felt totally devastated and cornered by fate again! I had just gotten out of hospital, still trapped in a wheelchair, and could barely move my body. Our second son, Jefferson, was only 9 months old. Teddy had been staying for six months with his grandparents in China and had just come back. My life totally collapsed. Why is this happening to me again? After a few minutes, I realized the doctor was still standing there, waiting for us to take in the bad news. I wrote down just one question to him on a piece of paper – was there any hope? He said of course, but it depended on the type of Leukemia. First there had to be some more detailed blood tests and bone marrow possibilities. We went home, breaking the news to the waiting grandparents. Then my wife started packing and left with Teddy in a rush. I sat there with the TV on, idly flipping through the channels. But nothing registered. My mind was shattered, human life, the universe, my family, my future, the doctor, the hospital. I needed to pray, to figure out a way to recover, but I just couldn’t concentrate. Could God hear my prayers? I kept talking to myself. “Never Give In, Never, Never”. I thought the test might take a couple of hours. The clock ticked by, a couple of hours turned into more. Every once in a while, I checked with my wife by text messaging, they were still waiting for the first set of tests. At 10 o’clock at night, the baby and my in-laws went to sleep. 11, 12 … the house was quiet and dark. I was so distressed waiting for the verdict. I couldn’t be there with them, I couldn’t help, and I couldn’t even speak. I felt so helpless and desperate. We knew nothing much about Leukemia. All our knowledge came from a Japanese show that was really popular 20 years ago in China. The female character suffered and died from it. I didn’t want to go there, didn’t want to relate Teddy’s chubby and lovely face with anything terrible. I was so exhausted and felt like an artery would burst. I lay on the bed with my clothes on and eyes wide open. Finally at 2:36 am, the phone rang. I picked it up on the first ring. I had been holding the cell phone in my hand since they left. My wife said the Oncology doctor had just talked to her. They confirmed that it was Leukemia. Teddy was transferred to the ward, there would be a series of tests to follow the next day, and they would start his treatment right away. I felt cold tears running down my cheeks, thinking about my boy lying in the hospital, innocent and pale. It was a hundred times worse than the days I was on life support. He was only three and half. I clearly remember the day he was about to go to China a year previously while I was lying in the hospital bed. I couldn’t move and speak, just blinked my eyes to say hi then. He didn’t know why daddy couldn’t talk to him like any of his friends’ fathers, couldn’t lift him, would instead lay in bed, couldn’t run or play ball with him. The moment he said dad was taken away by an ambulance, I just couldn’t stop myself from crying. Now I sat in the dark talking to him in my heart, “I love you so much! You will be okay, I promise”! I almost died when I had the stroke; the face of the monster was right in front of me again. I chose to fight back from teeth to toes; I chose to rise not fall; I chose to survive not die; I chose to walk not lie down. As long as there was hope, we were going to fight for it. We may not know how. But we will. The light started coming in from the shades. The sun came out. It was another day, another new beginning. Three years later, Teddy sits in the grade 2 class with his friends, always with a big smile on his face. After hundreds of needles and countless medication, he is in remission, finishing 3 years of Chemo and currently in stable condition. More luckily, my recovery has been going extremely well. We are so grateful to all the doctors and nurses in SickKids, so grateful to all the families and friends who supported us along the way, so grateful to people who didn’t even know us but helped us in so many ways. It was a difficult time for us, but we were not facing this alone. Together we are tougher! Together we made it! I love those doctors; I love the Sick Kids; I love Canada. God bless us all. Background InformationReno Fu, immigrated to Canada from China in 1999. He had a severe stroke in 2003. He was completely paralyzed and with lost speech, the doctor said he could never go home and would spend the rest of his life in a nursing home. One year later his elder son, Teddy who was only 3.5 years old, was diagnosed with Leukemia. He fought for his life so hard. Not only has his recovery been extraordinary, but also Teddy’s 3 year Chemo is very successful. The miracles are continuing. The article accounts the story on the day which was the lowest point in my life. I was paralyzed and lost speech because of the stroke a year ago. Even worse, my elder son, Teddy, only 3.5 years old was just diagnosed with Leukemia. What were our reactions to the bad news? What could we do then? Could I have more life in the future? Everything started from that day. Teddy has eventually finished 3 years Chemo, my recovery goes extramurally well. I am called the Miracle Man by others. |
